


Dealor Love

by hudsteith



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Brian and Freddie are the best friends they could ask for, But he's an idiot in love, I don't smooth their actions, John can be a naughty boy, M/M, Mixed POV's, Non-Explicit Sex, Sometimes Roger can be an idiot, Sometimes fluffy, They always find a way, a lot of love, some cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2019-10-27 03:46:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17759183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hudsteith/pseuds/hudsteith
Summary: Collections of Dealor one-shots.(Most of them in ANATO making process time)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my native language, so mistakes can happen.

* * *

**Roger's Speech**

 

John was really trying to breath slowly and calmly, but it’s hard to do it when Roger was doing an amazing job sucking his cock. He wanted to have strength to keep looking the blond using his mouth and hands (the view’s so fucking awesome) but he was almost coming, so the only thing he can do is moaning. How can the blond be that good sucking a man? I mean, according to the drummer, Deaky was the first man (and still the only one) he screwed. Roger really had some kind of magic.

  
“Oh, Rog... _Shit_!” John gasped when he came. He felt getting dizzed and his body relaxed and heavy. Even if he wanted, he just wouldn’t move.

  
John saw Roger sitting next to him in bed, with a playful smile on his face, and the drummer glanced at him, touching the brunette’s hair. “Was a fair reward of that great handjob you did before the gig?”

  
“Hell yeah.” smiled John, still trying to breathe. Now, after the gig, the bears he drank and the blowjob, he’s really getting sleepy. He could feel his eyes closing and wanting not to open, his thoughts being more slow and his moviments getting shorter.

  
“So...I should go back to my place.” Roger said, still a smile on his face, and he lean his face to John’s and gave him a kiss on his cheek, and he felt John’s hand on his wrist. The blond just looked at it, quiet.

  
“You know, you should crash here tonight.” John purposed, opening his eyes just a little, an innocent smile on his lips. “You already did some times, and it’s late.”

  
Roger gave him a condescended smile, still caressing Deaky’s long hair, and the youngest move forward him, staying in silence. John must know how pretty he was when he was just staying still, not moving, only looking into Roger’s eyes, so alert and focused. Roger could fall easily for Deaky, _if he wanted to_. “Deaky...” and Roger tilt his head, passing his hand on his neck.

  
“Oh, he is gonna to give me the speech.” John smiled.

  
“Yeah, I will.”

  
John know what it could happen since the day he kissed Roger for the first time.

  
Actually he didn’t even remember who kissed who. They just went at a pub and he was crashing on Roger’s flat. Both are drunk, speaking loudly and smiling for no reason. Roger opened his flat’s door and looked to him, with that bloody smooth and deceptive eyes. Door closed and locked, John just smiled at him and said he never kissed another man before. But John can remember how was feeling Roger’s hands on his neck and the blond’s mouth over his body for the first time, and how ravishing was the drummer inside him, and how loud he moaned that night.

  
The day before Roger made the speech for the first time. ‘This couldn’t be happen’ and etecetera (the speech already changed). But after John showing graphically (he even described during the sex) how good they were in bed, the blond accepted they could have sex sometimes. And fast the “sometimes” went to “almost every day”. Every pub’s bathroom they did a gig was violated for them, in the best way possible. Eventually Freddie and Brian found out. Freddie thought hilarious and juicy, Brian remained contemplative.

  
“You know that Roger can break your heart somewhen, right?” Brian said one day to John, worried about his friend. “I like Roger, he’s an old friend, but _I_ know and _you_ know how he’s like.”

  
But the feeling of his body getting possessed by Roger, the drummer’s hands over him, like he could make everything with the brunette, making him collapse over the bed (or over the door, over the window, over his van backseat...) made John not think about tomorrow. He didn’t care so much about his heart.

  
Or how he stopped over a Roger’s frisky smile, how he jumpped when Roger whispers anything on his ear, making John’s nape hair shiver, how it scaped a beat the blond passes his thumb on his own lip everytime he has a thought.

  
When they went to Deaky’s place, Roger slept there, together with the bassist, no problem. But sometimes (and Deaky still didn’t find a pattern for it) Roger just said that he couldn’t stay. And he gave him the speech: that they can’t stay that close ( _like fucking his bandmate wasn’t close enough_ ), that they should stay things casual, and that he didn’t want to Deaky start to believe in some things. Roger even said that he was afraid to break John’s heart. _How cute_.

  
Sometimes it sucks how much Brian, Roger and Freddie saw John as a helpless person, like he didn’t know how to protect and defend himself. Maybe they were that way because he’s the youngest and newest member from the band, he was on his early twenties, or because he had those kind and gentle eyes, soft and weak voice and childish and lovely face. They thought he could be a easy catch to anyone with bad intentions. Actually, everyone around Deaky couldn’t imagine him doing anything naughty. Well, everyone but Roger now.

  
And that’s why Roger always made the speech, to remind him how much he liked their friendship and he didn’t want to lose him, and he’d stop in the second John wasn’t comfortable anymore.

  
Even that he’d miss John kissing and biting his lips, the brunette’s moan when Roger painted kisses close to his ear, the way he touches Roger’s body when he was close to come or, as now, the pretty sleepy face he had. Roger knew he wouldn’t be allowed to see all that again if they stopped, but he knew he’d miss forever. Also they stuck together more than ever, and he felt that John was more comfortable around his bandmates now.

  
“Deaky, I don’t want you wondering if there’s something else between us. We are great at sex, and I love that, but if...if someday I break your heart, I’ll never forgive myself.” Roger touched his fingers on John’s cheekbones, and the youngest closed his eyes. “You’re too important to me. I can’t be fake with you, like I am with my other hook ups.”

  
John can’t help himself and giggled. Again, as always, Roger was treating him like a little baby, with extra care, fearing that he’d cry. It’s annoying, and if Deaky wasn’t tired enough, he’d show to the oldest how he wasn’t candic and angelic. And then he gave a sassy smile to the drummer. “Everybody got your heart broken once in life. If I can choose, I prefer getting my heart broken by you, Roger Taylor.” and he winked.

  
Roger cracked and laid down onto John’s bed. “You’re unsufferable.”

  
They stayed quiet for a moment, just looking to each other, wondering what the other was thinking, their eyes shining in the dark room.

  
The drummer lean his body to John, his face so close to John’s, and he could hear and feel the other breathing, so peaceful. He always envyed Deaky’s peace; nothing broke him, never. His own mind was a mess, always burning him up and getting himself headaches and anxiety, but just looking into John’s eyes, a mixing of grey and green, he could feel the calm bumping through his veins.

  
Like he was reading the drummer’s thoughts, John smiled at him, and it was so easy, so normal, and he didn’t even know how good Roger could feel when he see that smile. Deaky smiling at him meant everything to him, and warmed his body, inside out. Roger blinked, trying to not smile like a fool. “You know, if one day I fall in love, I hope it’s for you, Deaky.”

  
John hugged him, involving his arms around the drummer’s body, and the blond rested his head on the bassist’s chest, hearing his heart getting faster. “Good night, Rog.”

 

And Roger did fall in love, eventually.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English isn't my native language, so mistakes can happen.

**While you sleep**

 

Roger woke up first in that morning, still feeling the warmth of the bed, and stretched his arms and legs, trying not to wake the person beside him. The Queen drummer’s smile showed up, watching a brunette man still sleeping, peacefully. He started to look at him, with a passion that would make himself throw months ago. Sometimes he still didn’t believe how much he’s in love for John Deacon.

  
He did his best to hide his feelings for John, and that meant avoid eye contact, get conversations shorter than usual and not meet the brunette alone. This was, in Roger’s opinion, the perfect plan, and it’d help him to deal with the heartbeats he lost everytime John smiled or talked to him. But, of course, the drummer was wrong and that wasn’t the perfect plan, because the person in question was John Deacon, a very smart and perceptive person. In less than one week he figured that Roger was acting weird with him and only with him. So, someday after the gig, that the drummer practically ran away to his flat, John ran after him.

  
That was one of the scariest moments of Roger’s life, and when John asked him why the hell the drummer was avoid him, the blond yelled everything he felt. How he’s in love for John, how much he thought the bassist was wonderful and smart and handsome and how hurted him to not hold Deaky on his arms and kiss him every fucking day. Roger thought his vocal chords never hurt so bad, not even when he sang ‘In the Lap of the Gods’, and he wanted to ask John to leave, so he’d cry in peace, with his loneliness. And then something he couldn’t imagine happened: John held him on his arms and kissed him, the softest kiss Roger ever received.

  
It took a while for Roger believe that John liked him for real. The bassist thought it’d be a nice way to show him how much he’s serious about they two kissing the drummer in front of Freddie and Brian, when the brunette showed up to a rehearsal. John simply put his hands on Roger’s face and kissed him, like it was nothing, making Roger blush like hell and Freddie and Brian open their mouths, shocked. They tried not to share displays of affection during the rehearsals, but they found out it’s pretty hard (Roger mostly, who wanted to kiss and touch John every time he can).

  
And then other first times happened, eventually. Roger wouldn’t imagine how _naughty_ John was in bed, because that lighthing eyes, goofy smile and soft cheekbones could mislead anyone. But since the first time John shut his door room, he showed to Roger a new John; a John who liked to push him aggressively to bed, to tear up bottom shirts, to put his teeth in every inch of the blond’s pale skin, to trail his tongue over Roger’s abs and chest, to say dirty talk on the drummer’s ear while he fucked Roger until the oldest scream. And after this John smiled to him softly, like he didn’t do anything. The drummer always lost his breath around Deaky, but not only with the sex, but with everything else too.

  
Now John had this habit to curly Roger’s hair on his hands, sometimes unwittingly, when they were watching tv, making the oldest shiver, and before he sleep he asked Roger to rub his feet while he was reading a novel, always groaning when the blond squeeze a little harder. He also liked to do his paper or to cook with the drummer singing to him (nothing specific, he just liked to hear the sound of his voice) and he took care of Roger when he got sick, even that the blond was pretty childish to take the meds or to eat.

  
All those little things that John did to Roger make the blond get more _foolish in love_ for the youngest, and that’s why he was looking like a idiot to the asleep man.

  
Roger really wanted to touch John’s back, that was going up and down every time the bassist breathed, with peace. His dark hair was fell on his neck, going to the bed, and somehow made him look more young, with the flaccid cheeks, a messy bangs above his closed eyes and half-opened lips. He looked like a fucking angel and Roger was almost falling to the temptation of kiss John, but he wouldn’t do that, even if he knew the other wouldn’t care. He just shorten himself to look him sleep, smiling for waking up every day next to the most gorgeous man he saw in his life.

  
“Creeper.” Roger saw John’s lips moving, and forming a smile. He opened his eyes, scretched his entire body over the bed and looked to the blond, with sleepy pretty eyes.

  
Roger can’t help himself and giggled, not believing that his lover was awake all the time, and just waiting for the right time to spook him. Roger bit his own lip, trying not to do anything with John, because he was still waking up. His heart warmed a little more when he touched John’s face and the brunette closed his eyes again, with pleasure.

  
“Good morning, Deaky.” Roger said, knowing that was absolutely ridiculous how much he loved that man.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usually I don't write soft things like this, and this was the softest shit I've ever wrote.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English isn't my native language, so mistakes can happen.  
> Please tell me what you liked, so I can make more stories :)

**Jealousy, look at me now**

 

John was drinking his fourth glass of vodka, swigging his shot with no worry to get drunk. He really wanted to blurry his senses, because he wasn’t liking what he was looking in front of him, and drink was better than hurt someone.

  
After the show, Roger was drowned by groupies, and they liked to touch and smile and bat their eyelashes to Roger, flirting with him with no shame. John knew that Roger always had more groupies than other three, but in that night was absurd. Almost the entire pub was around the drummer, trying to get his attention, asking him to sign pieces of paper or their own bodies (the last one was more usual than it could imagine). Roger loved the attention, as always, and John couldn’t help himself; he’s jealous again, the brunette felt his hands shaking with that disgusting feeling. The bassist knew that wasn’t the blond’s fault: Roger’ s handsome as fuck, so of course John wouldn’t be the only person who got an eye on the drummer, but watch hands passing on the man’s body was painful to him, because he couldn’t ask people to stop and say that Roger was already taken.

  
“Darling, are you having fun?” asked Freddie, when he found John on the booth, Brian next to him.

  
“I don’t think so, Freddie. He’s about to break this glass.” Brian teased him, but then he saw John staring something, so the guitarist followed his stare and watched Roger and the groupies. “Oh, is your song, Freddie. ‘Jealousy, look at me now...’” Brian was a little drunk, and Freddie needed to give him a little punch in his arm to him notice how John wasn’t a good mood. Brian stopped the joke and got more serious. “Sorry, Deaky.”

  
“Just go there and talk to him, John.” Freddie said, with a worried tone.

  
John continued to drink in silence.

  
The bassist developed a crush on Roger so sudden that he can’t remember how was life before that, and actually he didn’t have the time to think if that’s right or not, because it’s already seated on him. John only knew that he was staring the drummer’s profile while he’s beating the drums more often, and he started to smoke just to spend more with the blond, smoking with him in the rehearsal breaks (the smoking helped to handle with the anxiety he felt everytime Roger got closer to him). See the blond changing his clothes in front of him didn’t help at all (he already knew Roger had a stanning body, but now it had a new meaning for him), and his tried his best to not blush like a little girl, but Deaky knew that sooner or later his gasps or long stares would be caught for his bandmates. Even still, the need to see Roger’s smile for on more second it’s stronger than him, and he could feel he smiled back sometimes.

  
And, of course, he got caught. Roger opened the door on his own flat only with his underwear when John got there, waiting him to go to the rehearsal. The youngest looked up and down and gasped, making the drummer laugh with his reaction. And then Roger started to analyze more John’s behavior around him, and noted more odd actions from the bassist, making the blond wonder if he was misunderstanding the other, so Roger had to check in his own way. He knew he shouldn’t mess with his friend (his very close friend), but the blond was curious, so he couldn’t help himself. He called John to come to his flat, out of nowhere, and he opened his door completly naked. _Bingo_.

  
And with started as something just sexual growed to be more intimate. John liked to sleep on Roger’s arms, and to wake up seeing the drummer’s messy hair over his chest, and to feel the drummer’s fingertips caressing his body. Now the bassist didn’t know how to be far away from Roger, and he didn’t want to, the drummer either. The three romantic words were spoken for them so easily that they laughed when they did.

But, of course, John had a big fat issue: he never saw himself as a very pretty man. He knew people find him attractive, and when he looked at the mirror he didn’t find anything hideous, but everytime he looked to Roger and how flawless the drummer was he couldn’t help himself and wondered what could make the oldest stay with him. John was, at least, okay compared to the blond, and since he told that to the other Roger started to compliment him more often, not as a pity behaviour but just to make sure John knew how he felt about him. The drummer always found a way to make John smile, and he appreciated this a lot.

  
Since the beginning Freddie and Brian knew about them, and their first thought was a worried one, since John and Roger had different ways to deal with things, and if their relationship ended up bad it could affect their friendship, their lives and the band, but when the months were passing by and they looked pretty good together, the main singer and the guitarist got more chill. They also knew how bad were John’s self esteem issues, when helped him as they could, sometimes ringing a bell to Roger to the drummer notice. But they can’t complain much about it, because the blond was being more careful with John than he ever was with someone.

  
“Deaky, please, do something.” pushed Freddie. “You know that being angry isn’t healthy.”

  
“And Roger rather being with you than with a bunch of strangers.” Brian added. The sentence sounded weird, because Roger loved to be around a bunch of strangers, but he indeed prefered John’s presence.

  
John’s already getting drunk and gave them a goofy smile. Colours were brighter and he saw fast lights everytime he moved his head. “I’m fine, I don’t care about...Roger!” and John yelled when he saw the blond walking till them.

  
The drummer watched the scene: John almost drunk, waving him with amusement, and Freddie and Brian looking to him with worry. Something’s wrong, and he could imagine what, since that John was on his side, smiling softly to him, before the fans came and dragged him to sign things, and when he looked around John wasn’t there anymore.

  
“Hi. Everything’s good here?” he asked, even he already felt it wasn’t. Roger sat next to John, scretching his arms along the booth.

  
“Everything is perfect, darling!” John said loudly, making a fake giggling.

  
“Wait, is this supposed to be _me_?” Freddie still didn’t decide if it’s funny or offensive.

  
“I’m just doing fine, Roger. Why don’t you go back to your parade of pussys and dicks?” John tapped the drummer’s shoulder. “They can make a line for you.”

  
“Ok, that’s it.” Roger rolled his eyes. “Let’s find a room, Deaky, so we can talk.”

  
John didn’t want to, and even shook his head and crossed his arms, like he was five, but Roger gave to him a serious glance, so he angrily sighed and stood up after Roger, the blond leading their walk.

  
They found an empty room and went in. John saw Roger putting water on a glass and handed to the bassist. “Drink. I won’t talk with you shitfaced.”

  
“Wow, so bossy and responsible. Should I take a photo of this rare moment?” and John laughed, but drank the water.

  
After two glasses of water and three runs to the bathroom, with Roger remaining in silence, the drummer thought that the brunette’d be better now. So he looked to John with a tired glance. “Why are you like this?”

  
“I was bored of waiting for you, that’s all.” John turned his head, escaping of those blue hypnotizing eyes.

  
“Why you keep trying lying to me? You know you can’t, Deaky.” Roger smiled softly. _That bloody smile_ , thought John. That one that made his knees get weak and his heart jump. “You know why I got mad, Rog. Why you keep asking me that?” and John looked to him with shame and embarassment. He’s feeling childish.

  
“Deaky, you can tell me everything, so please, tell me what is wrong.” Roger gently put his hand on John’s face.

  
That’s the hardest part, because John knew Roger didn’t have any fault of the attention he received or if the fans were so naughty with him, and actually the drummer didn’t flirt back with the fans since they two started to be a real thing. But the bassist can’t help himself to feel a fire burning inside of him; most of the time it’s just a tiny flame, harmless, but when they were out for a show, a inner voice talked to John, saying that he didn’t deserve Roger, because he wasn’t pretty enough, or talent enough, or funny enough to be with a man who was all of that, ten times higher. And then was the burning, big and dangerous. The worst of all is that Roger always treated him right, with care and attention, wanting to know about his feelings, and that’s why John felt so guilty of being jealous. John also got afraid that someday Roger could get tired of his jealousy and break up with him, and that’s why he only told the drummer just a few percent of the times he felt that.

  
But, of course, Roger noted when Deaky wasn’t fine. Every sad glance, fake smile, tired breathe or silence treatment, the drummer always got them, even that John thought he can hide them well. Therefore, the oldest saw himself as a well reader of John Deacon’s feelings, even that Freddie and Brian always said to him that John was unreadable and unpredictable. Roger knew the brunette didn’t feel desirable enough and had troubles to believe that Roger really loved him back, even that the bassist heard the blond saying to him plenty of times. If was someone else, the drummer’d just roll his eyes and break up, but he couldn’t. Roger’s lost; he can’t win this war with his heart. He just wished that John could see himself as the oldest saw him.

  
“Is that...I see all this people around you, their lustful stares, and some of them are pretty, bloody fucking pretty, and...” John shut his eyes, taking deep breathes. He was about to cry, shame tears. “You could have all them, but...You’re with me.”

  
“Yes, I’m with you.” Roger whispered, and John’s body thrilled with his voice.

  
“But why?” John opened his eyes and stood in front of Roger, his cheeks burning with the stupid question.

  
“Why? Uh, let me see...” Roger pretended to think, and then put his arms around John’s waist. “Because of this” the drummer gave a quick kiss on the brunette’s lips “and this.” Roger’s hands went to John’s ass, and squeezed it. The bassist giggled, and then looked to him with big sad eyes. “Deaky, I don’t care who flirts with me. Even if was the Princess Diana-”

  
“Don’t be a fool. _Even I_ would break up with you if I had a chance with Princess Diana.” and John laughed more when Roger opened theatrically his mouth and snapped his arm, giggling after.

  
“What I meant is the only person that I care if flirt with me is you, stupid bastard.” Roger started to give kisses on John’s face. “No one else matters to me, got it?”

  
“But, Rog-”

  
The drummer took John’s hand and walked with him till get in front of a mirror that was in the room, Roger getting behind John, his head showing next to the bassist’s shoulder. “Just look at you, with those cheekbones I love to bite, this nose so soft when you brush it on mine, and those arms incredibly strong when you fuck me hard against the wall” Roger added a bite on John’s lobe when he said this “and this smelling hair that I touch everyday when I watch you sleep.” Roger embraced John from behind and kissed his neck. “You are perfect, and I’m the lucky one, not you. But if you want, I can tell to everybody that my boyfriend doesn’t like that-”

  
“What did you just call me?” John lost his breath.

  
“‘My boyfriend’? What else you could be, Deaky?” Roger laughed with the brunette’s reaction: his eyes were now shining, and his smile got bigger.

  
John turned around to Roger, and kissed him. Roger opened his mouth a little, to accept John’s tongue to touch his own, and sucked the bassist’s upper lip, smiling when he felt the brunette holding him tighter. John broke the kiss and grined to him, melting the drummer’s heart.

  
“You’re so bloody stupid.” said John.

  
“I love you too, Deaky.” Roger giggled, kissing him again.

  
And, in a uncertain day, John wasn’t afraid anymore.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm @mazdeaky from Twitter :)

**Teasing him up**

 

When he started to masturbate, he didn't think _how bad_ he needed this handjob. Roger stroke himself with some urgency that he almost got scared, but the pleasure hit him with more strength. The drummer’s hand went up and down fast, passing through his own length, a touching with a mix of need and anger. Because he needed the pleasure, and got angry of it. He could feel his breath getting heavy and his heartbeats getting fast.

Touch himself is now a habbit, that started with once a month, and then became once a week, and now was everytime he did a gig with his band. Not he didn’t enjoy a good handjob, but everytime he did was a reminder of from who he was doing. He basically ran after the gig finish and went to the room behind the stage, and he knew Freddie, Brian and John would take years to go back there. He was safe.

Roger was already hard enough, and he couldn’t stop the moans that escaped his mouth, and he just shut his eyes, imagining who he wanted to wank him off. He imagining long soft hands with some calluses, and he could picture a mischevious look on those eyes while they’re doing it, biting their own lips with desire, just to tease Roger more. The blond’s hand was faster than ever, he could feel he’d come soon, and the person’s name was almost on his mouth.

“Roger, what the...FUCK!” Freddie was looking for Roger, but he didn’t want to find him that way. Roger shouted and fell on floor, scared. “Oh my God, Roger, put your trousers up!”

The Queen drummer got up again e put again his trousers, breathing fast. He didn’t believe he got caught, and for Freddie! He zipped his pants and now was ashamed, indeed. The feeling of shame got him only few times in life, but right now it’s consumed him. Roger tried to calm himself down, because the scare and because he was almost coming one minute ago. Obviously he was everything else but hard.

He could feel Freddie’s eyes on him, and now the scene of Roger wanking himself passed through him, now he was laughing about it. “I thought your teenager phasis had gone, darling.”

“Piss off, Freddie.” Roger said, but not with his usual annoying voice.

“Lucky for you was me who found you. I can’t even imagine the speech Brian’d give to you if he saw this.” Freddie pointed to the friend.

“Can we, please, forgive this happened and go back to the pub?” Roger was already recomposed and walked to the door, but Freddie grabbed his hand on Roger’s arm, stopping him. Roger groaned with frustation. “What now, Freddie?”

“Just tell me who.”

“Who’s who?” Roger got a confused look.

“Please, Rog. Who made you do this.” Freddie rolled his eyes. “Only a person who was out there and teasing you enough to make you not wait to go to your place, but make you run to here and jack off.” Freddie said this with a unpretentious tone, like he wasn’t really intrigued by it, but then Roger saw a smile growing on his friend’s face. “Oh, dear. Is Deaky, isn’t it?”

Roger gasped.

The blond caught himself thinking of John for the first time months ago. Not a complex tought, just thinking of how soft John’s lips looked like, and in the same night he dreamed of John blowing him. He woke up the day after with a morning boner and Roger needed to jack off in the shower. That was the first time. He even hadn’t the courage to look in the Queen bassist’s eyes when they rehearsed, in the afternoon of that day. Roger never masturbated for a man before, and the embarassment was killing him.

It took some time for Roger to adjust himself with the idea of having sexual thoughts for women and men. Having only eyes for women for more of twenty years and than suddenly having thoughts about a man (a really close male friend) was something huge to process. And when he was okay with it he tried to know some men, without his bandmates knowing. It wasn’t hard tho, since he was fancied by men even when he thought he was straight. He liked the sex as much as he liked sex with women.

But then he realized his thoughts about John didn’t go away. Roger imagined that his wet dreams with the brunette was only to open his mind about his sexuality, and when he accepted it, the dreams would disappear. Unfortunately they didn’t, but got more frequently. More thirsty and nasty, John doing things with him and with himself that only Roger accepted to picture when he’s dreaming.

Of course John and the others noticed that Roger was far and distracted, and the bassist, always a sensitive man, imagined the friend was dealing with complex feelings, and, without the blond asked him any help, he got closer to him after a exhausting rehearsal and said, with his soft voice “Whatever you are struggling, don’t refrain it, mate. Just let it go.” and he showed a supportive smile, that Roger couldn’t help but smiled back.

With John’s blessing, Roger now didn’t feel so guilty when he’s jacking off for his friend. But that was just two days of joy, because another problem popped up. The drummer started to notice not only the brunette’s good looking, but his qualities, like how smart and responsible the bassist was (when he saw all A’s on Deaky’s tests), or how caring and thoughtful John was (when Roger got sick and he made a soup and fed him, even that he made many jokes about it), or how persistent and tough the youngest could be when he wanted to (the drummer saw it when John won a discuss with Freddie, which was unusual). Checking those points, that didn’t matter that much for him like now, made him realized that his feelings for John wasn’t just physical.

And in that night, with John wearing a leather trousers, showing all his curves and his skinny long legs, and with Roger just behind him, with a great view of John’s well-shaped ass, the drummer couldn’t help himself. He felt getting harder everytime John moved on the stage, and his pants got tight in the Liar bass solo, when Deaky made some hips moves that made the blond gasp.

“Deaky? Why you thought that?” and Roger made a weird noise that made everything more suspicious, his back resting on the wall.

“Rog, remember, you don’t need to be afraid.” Freddie thought he should be more careful now. “It’s me, Freddie, your friend, someone who fancy men too. So no danger, huh?”

Roger was already doomed, so didn’t matter if Freddie knew. “How can you possibly know about it?”

Freddie gave him a amused look. “Well, Rog, you’re not the most discret person. Maybe I already caught you giving dirty looks to Deaky a couple of times.”

Roger didn’t believe he was that careless, and he passed his hand on his face, frustrated. “A couple of times?”

“That was an euphemism, darling. You’ve given him dirty looks since December.”

“Oh, shit.”

The odds of John already realized that the drummer was fancying him was pretty high. Roger was doomed, indeed.

And what’s why he got mad when he had the need to masturbate, because he wanted to tell to John how much he liked him, and he didn’t want just to fuck him (but _yes_ , he wanted to fuck Deaky so bad, and get fucked as well) and how scared he was for having deep feelings for the brunette, something he never felt before. If he was stroking himself that meant he still didn’t tell all of that and he’s still a coward. The frustration ate him alive and even when the pleasure was on his body he also could feel the pain of being alone, just with the wonder of knowing if John could fancy him back. Or perhabs just not get away from the drummer.

Roger didn’t want an one-night stand with John, he wanted all the package. Wake up in the morning cuddling with him, eating breakfast together, going in and going back to the band rehearsals, watching tv with the head resting on the other’s lap, going to bed and sharing a goodnight kiss. The drummer didn’t know how foolish he could be, but being in love was making him wonder things like this, and when this happened he liked the break things. “Freddie...” Roger imagined that sharing his feelings with his friend could make him feel better. “I guess I not just fancy-like John.” he swallowed, trying to keep up. “I think I like-like John.” Roger looked to Freddie, feeling shy and sad. Shy because saying that out loud made everything so real, and sad because now it’s real, he could face with a true rejection from the bassist. “I never said before because it can mess up the band and my relationship with John. I rather jack off every day on my life than he getting out of my life.”

“Oh, you should really like him.” said Freddie, knowing how much the drummer prefered a double action than a solo.

“I’m serious, Freddie.” Roger started to walk in the room “He’s charming, and kind, and a great friend and an awesome bassist, and I can’t mess everything up, even that hurt me inside everytime I see him, with those stupid warm eyes and ridiculous cute smile.” the blond stared to Freddie, serious. “John can’t never know about my feelings for him.”

“I’m not sure about this, Rog.” Freddie bit his lips.

“You can’t gossip this, Freddie, I’m fucking serious!”

“It’s not about that.”

“So what?”

“It’s because I can see by the mirror that John is standing behind the door.” Freddie pointed.

Roger looked to a big mirror that was close to the room door, and he looked John’s image, with a half-opened mouth, frozen, maybe because what he heard, maybe because he got caught, maybe both. Freddie walked to the door the opened completly, showing the real John, the bassist staring shyly, his face getting red and moving his fingers with anxiety. The drummer and the bassist glanced, not knowing what to say.

“That’s not the best place for a mirror. Well, I guess you don’t need me right now, so I’ll go back to the party.” and Freddie left.

John went into the room, in silence, and chose to not look to the drummer right, the blond staring the his back. Roger was feeling lonely, imagining that John was about to do all the things he was afraid of. He can’t lose Deaky. “F-For how long were you standing behind the door?” asked Roger, nervous.

“For a while.” John said, still not looking to Roger. “Since Freddie said it’s okay to share things to him about you...You know, about you fancying someone.” and he turned around to Roger, with a concerned look. “I don’t like to hear other people’s talk, it’s just things happened too fast.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it, Deaky.” Roger gave him a half smile, but not his usual one, it was a smile with embarassment and sadness. Roger looked pretty interessed about the floor, your eyes fixed on it, because was too much to him watch John getting away from his life, just because he can’t control himself and his feelings, even that those feelings made him feel more alive than he ever felt.

And he saw pair of shoes close to his, and he looked up. Now John was very close to him, and he had a calm and curious glance. “So you didn’t want me to find that you like me. Why?”

The drummer couldn’t believe how easy those words sound on John’s mouth (that devious mouth), and sounded like he wasn’t terryfied with the idea of the drummer liking him. But Roger was still uncertain. “Because we’re good as friends, and things like this can destroy relationships, and I love you...in my life!” Roger shouted the last part, in a hurry to not say only the three words. John giggled when he saw Roger blushing.

“And you meant everything you said? About me being charming and my ridiculous cute smile?” John showed _the_ ridiculous cute smile Roger talked about, and the blond just nodded, the drummer’s heart jumping. “You know, I've seen the stares.” John was too focused on touch Roger’s jawline with his finger that he missed the other opening his mouth. “Some dirty, some more...passionate. But I just ignored my thoughts, because that’s no way Roger Taylor, _the hottest man alive_ , was into me. And than I started to feel more than just flattered about the stares.” John glanced to Roger, his face getting bright. “I started to enjoy the stares, and wish to see them again, everytime we met.”

Roger was still processing the bassist’s words, like it’s too hard for him to understand that ( _he still he could be wrong_ ) John likes him back. And he felt John’s hands on his waist, pushing him to get close, until their bodies met. A hopeful smile was growing on his face, starting to believe that this wasn’t a dream, that he was, indeed, in John’s arms. “You’re fucking amazing, Rog, and smart and funny, and a great drummer. Why could you think that I wouldn’t like you back, you bloody idiot?” John bit his own lip when touched Roger’s lower lip with his thumb. “Did anyone already not like you back?”

“Oh, shut up.”

And Roger kissed John. The blond put his hands on John’s neck, opening his mouth to feel John’s lips between his own. He could feel how much John desired him too, the brunette’s hands reaching his body with need, just to finally know how it to be on the drummer’s grasp. His bits were strong and precise, and Roger saw himself moaning on the kiss, and he push John to the wall, his teeth finding John’s jaw, the youngest leaning him back to his lips.

“So” John said when they stopped to find some air. “you were jacking off for me tonight.”

“How did you know?” Roger frowned.

“Just a hunch.”

“You want to help me out?”

“Not that easy, Rog. But I can call you tomorrow. Would that help?” Deaky had a mischevious smile, brushing his lips on Roger’s.

“You devil.”

Brian entered to the room, and looked to the scene. The other two expected a surprised gaze, or a shout, but Brian didn’t even stared twice, and started to look to his guitar bag. “Finally you guys stopped with the bullshit and did some action. Deaky was driving me crazy with all those looks to Roger.” he took the guitar bag and was going to the door. “We need to go, and Roger, your drumkit won’t carry itself to the van, mate. Plus you’re everyone’s ride.”

They smiled and Roger kissed John again, not contain himself with the joy he’s feeling inside. “To continue later?”

“Absolute.” John smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking on an angst Dealor fic with time travel :) What you guys think?


	5. Chapter 5

**I can make you see the stars, baby**

 

Roger and John were sitting on the ground, watching the stars and drinking hot cocoa. If this wasn’t already sounding like a cheesy romantic moment, on top of that they were sharing a blanket. The night was not so cold, but being outside the house wasn’t so comfy as being inside. Roger was already murmuring about they not having beer for three solid days, and how that could slow down his writing making.

“Paul said he will get some tomorrow.” said John, taking a sip of his cocoa. “Besides, you drank all the beer in one night.”

“He gave us beer for one night.” Roger claimed. “I want to drink beer.”

“You talk like you don’t love my hot cocoa.”

“That’s a really good hot cocoa, tho.” Roger drank it, put his mug on his side and shivered with the cold.

John smiled, resting his mug on his side and looked to the sky again. Brian was the astrophysicist, but he enjoys looking at the stars too. The moon was pretty beautiful tonight and he wished he could admire it more often. But, with the album production and song writing, nights like that were rare. Being on a farm was calm, but being on a farm with Freddie, Brian and Roger wasn’t calm.

They were always doing something. Playing, singing, talking about some bullshit or swimming in the pool. John liked to be quiet and silent sometimes, and is hard to have that when Freddie was constantly complaining about how he had not shown any lyrics to the band yet, or with Brian yelling about being bored or with Roger...well, with Roger being Roger.

Roger was, John still couldn’t figure how, louder than Freddie. The blond was always talking about something, making noises and even breathing too loud. He liked to annoy the other, as a way of making him show his presence (or maybe just to not get bored; he hated the place more than the other three together). He is restless and lively, and it made the band alive and pulsating. John thought he’s a joy, but most of the time he was pretty unsufferable.

But the drummer always made him feel good, talking to him and asking about him and what he liked, it was a way to John be validated as a band member, and John liked that. They were the youngest, so they had a lot in common, and even though they had opposite ways to behave and think, John liked to be around him. And, of course, he got himself staring at Roger.

 _But who doesn’t?_ The man looked like a mythological greek god, with slim body, lank pale abs, skinny arms...and that face. John already looked at that face in shock, denying that someone could be that pretty in real life. But yeah, his close friend is beautiful as fuck, and he could only watch. It’s very depressing to anyone being around Roger, because he always got all the looks from the girls (and some guys too). And the bastard really had knowledge of his effect on people. He can get anyone he want, just with a glance or saying ‘hi’ with that soft and cheeky voice.

And just now John noticed how close they were. Naturally they were, they shared a blanket, after all. But he felt Roger’s body leaning on his, and he didn’t know what to do, so he remained looking to the sky, like he didn’t catch that.

The drummer looked to John with a smile, glancing at the bassist with attention. John always had moments like this, when he forgot everyone else and enjoyed his own company. Roger thought it was beautiful how long the brunette could stay this way, like he didn’t need to get anyone’s attention, and that’s how John got his. The drummer couldn’t even imagine being this quiet and introvert, like John was, but that fits very good on the bassist, making him interesting and provoking. He also liked to watch the brunette when he wasn’t aware, to study every line of his face, and admire it, from the tip of his nose to his ear lobe. Every inch of John’s face was so fascinating for Roger, and he did know Deaky wasn’t aware of how good looking he was. Revolting, but it’s Deaky, a person that underrated himself.

The blond was leaning to John, who was still watching the stars, and it made him remember that pick-up line ‘I can make you see the stars, baby’, and he almost cracked, but he was too focused on putting his hand on Deaky’s cheekbone to make him look at him. John’s stare had a strange shine, like a scared child, and Roger smiled at him. “Scared of me, Deaky?”

“Kinda.” John replied, his mouth dry, and he opened it a bit, just a second before Roger touched his lips on his.

John’s eyes were still opened, dealing with the fact that Roger was kissing him, and when he realized how good the drummer’s kiss was, he closed them, and put his hand on Roger’s collar, pushing the drummer to get closer, making him smile. He, once in a while, wondered how would be being kissed by Roger. He already had saw him kissing some girls, but the feeling of being kissed was way better than just looking.

Roger liked to lead, sucking his upper lip, with hunger, and biting the lower, pushing John’s lips with his teeth in the end. The pain was worth it, because the thrill the brunette was having crossed all his expectations.

The drummer enjoyed the kiss as well. John started gentle and shy, and then pushed him with desire, and passed his nails on the blond’s neck, making him gasp. Roger always got surprised by the bassist, and now with his hands pulling his blond hair, the oldest wished they weren't here, but on his room, with a comfy bed they could lay down. And his thoughts got wilder when he heard John moaning on his mouth.

But, even if he had sex with Deaky, it’d be different. He wouldn’t be an asshole with the brunette, like he usually was with everyone else he slept with. John deserved a unique treatment.

Roger stopped the kiss and looked to John, who opened your eyes confused. “Was that okay?” asked the blond, insecure.

“Okay like if it was good or okay if I didn’t mind?” asked back John.

“Eh...Both?”

“No, I didn’t mind.” John shrugged. Roger smiled again.

“And the other?”

“Come on, Rog, you were there!”

“I know that _I_ liked it as fuck, but I don’t know if you did too.”

“It’s not like I could jump from a moving car, tho.” giggled John, and Roger snapped on his shoulder.

“You rotter!”

Roger was about to kiss John again, who was smiling with the drummer’s approach, when they heard someone humming.

“Kids, I didn’t want to interrupt your date, but we need to wake up early tomorrow.” said Brian, with a joker smile on his face. “We came here to make an album, remember?”

“Why did you stop them, Brian, you cold soul?” shouted Freddie, who was in the living room.

John blushed but laughed when Roger did too. And the bassist’s face got more red when they stood up and Roger put his hand on his waist, kissing his cheek in the end. “Talking about cars gave me a nice idea for a song. Thanks, Deaky.” Roger said, then added with a whisper “And we should continue later from where we stopped.”

“Agreed.” John whispered back.


	6. Chapter 6

**Truth or Dare**

 

The band was on a fifteen minute break, just to drink some water and rest. Freddie was looking over the song lyrics they were recording, and Brian was giving him some notes about his song, and how he imagined Freddie singing it. But Freddie was paying no attention in Sweet Lady, but in what he was looking in front of him.

John was behind the drums, sitting on Roger’s chair, and holding his drumsticks, and he was hearing Roger explaining to him how to play the drums, teaching him a easy lesson. Both are smiling, and the youngest looked nervous, shaking the drumsticks, trying to remember the moves, when the drummer was talking close to the bassist’s ear. The brunette waved and tried to do what Roger teached him, but he only made weird sounds. 

Roger laughed, making John look to him. “Sorry, Deaky. Try again, mate.” and John tried again, making a better sound. Roger smiled to him, proud. “See? That’s better.”

“Take me few days and I can be the next Queen drummer, Rog.” teased John.

“Don’t even joke about this, mate. Besides, you can’t stay away from my pretty face.”

“Try me.”

Freddie rolled his eyes, getting tired of it. “Oh, Lord, when will those two get a room?”

“What?” asked Brian, confused.

“Those two.” Freddie pointed to the drummer and the bassist with his head. “Seeing them flirting with each other and not doing anything else is making me mad. And I’m extremely bored, so it gets me more mad. They are like this for ages!”

“Oh. This.” Brian giggled. Of course they already noticed this, but he thought it was none of his business, so he just stayed away. “They won’t go far from there, Freddie.”

“But they should!” claimed Freddie. Roger and John glanced to him, after his shout, but soon continued their drums session. Freddie got closer to Brian, now talking lower “We should help them.” and a excited smile grow up.

“No, Freddie.” Brian shook his head. “We are not teenagers.”, and the guitarist wasn’t thrilled to get into Roger and John’s love life. They’re friends, and friendship needs boundaries. He could feel Freddie getting upset with him. “What?”

“How you gonna feel if you know that you didn’t help a young love to rise?” Freddie’s voice was inquisitive.

“Freddie, please. They aren’t kids. If they like each other they, they’ll say something.” Brian was already tired of this topic.

“Darling, how dull you are!” Freddie laughed, grabbing on Brian’s arm. “John Deacon and Roger Taylor, talking about feelings? I can’t see this happening, can you?”

Brian stopped after Freddie said this. Yeah, he can’t picture the drummer talking about his deep feelings about anything, so talking about he fancying his bandmate looked unthinkable. Also the brunette bassist wasn’t the most open person to talk about things that weren't music, and Brian remembers that the whole band spent two years without knowing that John had a girlfriend.

They decided to restart the rehearsal, John going back to his bass, still teasing Roger about how he was taking his place in the band. Brian saw Roger shaking his head, giggling and biting his lower lip. Freddie just glanced at the curly, with a raised eyebrow, quietly asking if that was enough for him. The guitarist hated to get into things that didn’t belong to him, but he couldn’t help to feel a little sympathy about their friends’ problem. They were too ignorant to face the truth, that they liked each other (or even more), and they would never ask for help. As an astrophysicist, he didn’t believe in astrology, but he can’t forget that he’s a Cancer, and right now his heart was pumping to help those two idiots.

“Ok, Freddie. I’m in.” Brian whispered, hoping he was doing the right thing.

-

They decided to talk with Roger and John separately. Trying to bring up something like that with all of them together could get the opposite desired result. Roger could make a scene and John could shut it down deeper than before. Freddie already had a plan on his mind.

“For how long are you waiting for this?” asked Brian, truthly curious.

“Since Roger said that John had pretty eyes and blushed. The man never blushes.” Freddie answered, simply. That was four years ago. “Finally I can take this shit out of me. The sexual tension between them can’t let me live!”

“Can you be more dramatic than that?” teased Brian, shaking his head.

But actually Freddie was enjoying doing that too much, like being a cupid was one of his childhood dreams. “When Paul talked to me about we going to this farm, I thought that it would be a perfect place to make this happen.” and he saw Brian rolling his eyes, but he didn’t care. “Oh, darling, you gonna love this. You talk to Deaky, and I go talk to Roger.”

“Why I can’t go to Roger? I’m his oldest friend.” argued Brian, crossing his arms.

“But I know how to open up that heart. And Deaky could be more comfortable with you.”

Brian agreed this settle, then. The feeling of being on a romantic movie showed up, and made him smile. He and Freddie were hopeless.

-

Freddie was playing snooker with Roger, after lunch. They could talk freely, now that Brian and John were gone. Roger was winning, of course; he was better on this game that him, but Freddie preferred to keep him on a good mood to talk about that. 

The oldest always knew that being subtle with Roger never would work, plus he didn’t know how to be subtle. Being direct and loud were his brand marks, so no melismas with Roger. The drummer was about to hit the pool cue on the white ball when Freddie started “So, when are you gonna screw Deaky?”

“What?” Roger didn’t point right and the pool cue didn’t hit the white ball, it remained in the same spot. The drummer saw his friend laughing, and he could feel his own face burning. Roger was showing himself way too much, so he tried to put himself together, and smiled. “Trying to distracting me to not lose again, Freddie?” 

“Please, Rog, you can do better than that.” Freddie lighted a cigarette. “Our little John is very cute, and I know that you like to check him out, probably thinking how he is in the mattress.”

“I do not!” Roger’s voice was loud and sounded quaked. He got caught. He looked to the door, when he saw John out of the house, looking to them after he heard the shouting. Their eyes met. The drummer looked again to Freddie, who was smoking. “I do not fancy Deaky.”

“Fucking is different from fancying, Rog, but I like that.” Freddie smiled excited, loving how this talk was going. He saw Roger swallowing. It’s pretty funny seeing the blond, who’s always so secure and charming, getting nervous. “I can’t blame you, he’s really good to look at.”

“Please, stop. Just because we fucked a couple of times you can’t think I fancy every man.”

“Try ‘a dozen of times’, darling, but I know our sexual past doesn't matter here.” said Freddie. They had sex indeed, years ago, but happily none of them got attached and they just stopped before John and Brian found out, and sometimes Freddie liked to remember that just to mess with Roger, talking about how much the blond enjoyed to be a bottom.

He could see Roger getting anxious; the blond was biting agressively his lower lip, scratching his neck nape, and looking down, his blue eyes getting a little darker. Maybe Fredidie was more direct than he needed. He know how much was hard to Roger talk about anything deep of himself, and all these years Freddie never saw the blond lose, because he didn’t allow himself to be weak or vulnerable. And getting feelings for someone like John was the definition of vulnerability, because no one knows what Deaky really thought about anything. Their bandmate was a cute and slippy man, and Roger never had someone who he can not predict their moves. There’s the problem of being too pretty: you always think that everyone will fall for you, and when you have any doubt, it can break your system. “I know what you are thinking.”

“No, you don’t, Freddie.” Roger was defensive now, he turned his back to Freddie, breaking their eye contact. Freddie liked to tell him that he was an open book, and now he finally believed him. Flirting with Deaky was pretty easy, and helped him to feed heathly his impossible feelings for the bassist. Of course John was straight, and even if he wasn’t, how, for God’s sake, he would look to him? He knew John was deeper than just to care about outside beauty, and he also knew they were pretty different. John’s quiet, he’s loud. John’s clean, he’s messy. John’s straight, he’s not.

“Of course I know. You are afraid to say something to Deaky and he running away from you.” Freddie said so calm that Roger gasped. Shit, he was pretty readable, tho. “If I were you I would try to talk to him, Rog.” Freddie showed a confident smile to the drummer.

But Roger was playing this game several years for a reason. Because it was safe and predictable, and if he said something that could ruin their friendship and the band, he would never forgive himself. He was just waiting for the feeling to go away and he could breathe again. Even though he knew, deep down, that it wouldn’t go away, so he’d stick with breathing problems then.

“Because I’m the best at it.” Roger curved his lips, being sarcastic, and exhaled with frustation. “Let’s end it. I don’t wanna play snooker, anyways.”

“Roger-”

“I'm gonna take a nap.”

Freddie saw his friend going to his room, looking upset. He hope Brian was getting a better progress than him.

-

In the same time Freddie was talking to Roger inside the house, Brian was outside, talking to John. He was talking about making a new amp for him, because his was making weird noises so it was time to get a new one. Brian looked to his friend imagining how he could talk about John’s feelings. 

Unlike Roger, who was a pretty easy person to tell what he is feeling, John was harder to understand. Brian always thought he was seeing things when he caught some strange glances from John to Roger. Shining glances, like those ones we never see on ourselves, but other people do and say things like ‘you like them, huh?’ when they saw the glance; that’s the glance Brian saw on John’s eyes, that changed the grey color to a bright green, like seeing Roger lighted up his vision.

But Brian never said anything, because he could be wrong and this can mess up friendships, so he stayed shut. And then he started to see another odd thing: everytime Roger was around them with some girl, John got drunk. Every single time, like he couldn’t handle the situation sober. And, one time, when Brian was taking John to his flat, he called him Roger some times and tried to kiss him. Happily, John didn’t remember this in the day after and Brian never talked about it.

And that’s why the guitarist was insecure of how he should talk about it. John was pretty closed about emotions, and he only got caught because Brian was smart enough to see. 

But he needed to try.

“So, John, you already had to deal with feelings you couldn’t control or handle?” asked Brian, out of nowhere (on John’s point of view).

“Uh, of course.” John didn’t see that coming. “All the time.”

They heard a shout inside the house, and John looked, and it was Roger. The brunette didn’t understood what he shout, but when their eyes met, the drummer looked upset.

“And what you do?” asked Brian, bringing John back to their talk.

“I don’t pay attention. If you put them out, your live could be a mess. And I don’t like messes.” John said, trying not to think about Roger, but it’s impossible; he is his personal uncontrollable feeling.

“Because you’re afraid of the mess being wrong or afraid that you have a chance and the mess could really work out and you can actually be happy?”

“That was really specific, somehow.” John laughed. “Yeah, sometimes messes can be good, but you can’t be sure if it’ll work out.”

“Being sure is overrated.” Brian commented. He was liking of this word game. He was good at it. But John was still not talking about Roger with all the words. 

John wasn’t liking it, in the other hand. The convo was treading him to his feelings for the Queen's drummer, and he didn’t like to think about it. Avoiding them wasn’t easy when you got stuck on a farm with the person and you see them every fucking day, every fucking hour. It’s already painful being in the same band with Roger, but now it was a new level of masochism. Even when he was fucking someone he was thinking of the blond, and how he smells good, and how his lips looks soft, and how it should be nice feeling Roger’s hand over his body.

He couldn’t even remember when he fell for the drummer, but he did remember what was his first thought about Roger. ‘He’s so pretty that it even hurts my eyes’, John tought, and laughed after it. He never was a romantic guy, but all the cheesy things he tought in life he tought about Roger. He _literally_ got sick when he figured out what all the goosebumps and the sexual dreams and the shyness with Roger was about. It was okay to him fancy Roger because of his looks, but he got mad when he started to know the blond better and started to like to hang around him and to enjoy their talks, they stop being just bandmates and becoming more close. The more close they got, more deep John fell for the blond.

And that’s why he should shut down those feelings. Because Roger would never like him back and it could ruin the band. John really liked playing on Queen, and he couldn’t destroy everything they did all those years. They could be big and famous, and John and his stupid feelings couldn’t be on the way of it.

So, to stop this painful subject, he had to begin a new one, more lightful and funny. “So Freddie and Roger won't never tell us they slept together few years ago?”

“THEY WHAT?” Brian looked shocked at him.

-

“You got distracted by that?” Freddie wasn’t believing. None of them did what they purposed to.

“I lost my focus after that!” Brian tried to low his voice. “I tought this band had no secrets.”

“Oh, please, darling, we are working to stop a secret. A not very well hidden tho, but still a secret.”

“So what are we gonna do now?” Brian was sad, because now he’s really engaged to settle this. Now he understood the excitement Freddie felt.

Freddie didn’t say a word and left the kitcken, and two minutes later he went back, holding a bottle. Brian opened the bottle and inhaled, gasping after. The liquid was pretty strong, and he wasn’t sure what the hell was in there. “Freddie, for God’s sake, what is in there?”

“A bunch of things, actually.” Freddie shrugged. “Whiskey, russian vodka, swidish rum, honey...”

“HONEY?!?”

“Yeah, just to get a sweet taste. This little babe helped me to write many songs, Brian.”

“So you gonna poison our friends?” Brian was worried with the alcohol concentration of that bottle.

“Who is the dramatic one now?” Freddie smiled. And he walked away to the living room. Roger was reading a novel and John was drinking tea, each one in a corner of the room, both silent.

After their earlier talk with Freddie and Brian, they thought (individually) it’d be the best not talk with the other that night. They, of course, looked to the other sometimes, once in a while their eyes meeting, and they just smiled awkwardly and looked away. 

“Guys, who wants a little fun tonight?” Freddie entered the room, shaking softly a bottle.

“What is that?” asked John, curious.

“‘A little fun’, Deaky.” signed Freddie, putting the bottle in the room desk and sitting on the floor. “Brian, bring four glasses over here!”

“Got it!” Brian’s voice was heard in the living room.

“I thought we hadn't any drinks.” Roger said, getting pissed. “You saw me crying out for a beer, Freddie. Not cool!”

“Don’t be such a baby, Rog!” Freddie flicked his hand.

“You can’t ask him that.” teased Brian, holding four glasses and putting on the desk, sitting next to Freddie.

Freddie opened the bottle and put a shot for all of them. John’s the first to grab his glass and he drank it, making a funny face after. “How much alcohol percentage has in there?”

“A lot.” Freddie smiled, giving to Roger a glass with the drink.

“I don’t really care. I miss getting pissed so much.” and Roger drank his shot. He closed his eyes when he felt the liquid burning his throat, but he shout after, excited. “That was fun. Give me another one.”

Freddie smiled to Brian before he put another shot on Roger’s glass.

“Me too, please.” John said, his glass empty, breathing heavily after the shot.

Few shots after, they started to smile and laugh more, losing up. Freddie and Brian agreed to drink less than the other two, just to stay woke to anything that could happen. The bottle was already half empty when Freddie whispered on Brian’s ear “It’s time.” and he looked to the drummer and the bassist. “Let’s play truth or dare.”

“How old are you, twelve?” asked John, cracking.

“I think he is, Deaky.” Roger was laughing too, and for Freddie it’s a good sign.

“Don’t be a pussy. We can rip off some dirty from Brian, guys.” the musician tried to convince them, and soon they signed, joining the game. “Alright. Me first. Truth or dare, Brian?” 

“Oh, Jesus.” Brian really didn’t want to join this game. Freddie always did this, just throwing things like that on him, he just accepting them. “Dare.”

“I dare you to swim naked in the pool.” Freddie gave a nauthy smile to him.

“Oh, I’m really liking this game!” John said, clapping.

“I gonna kill you.” Brian whispered to Freddie before stand up and start to undress himself.

Freddie, Roger and John were laughing, walking next to a naked Brian. The night was warm, but the water in the pool must be cold, and Brian was already predicting a fever in the morning. “How much?” he asked to Freddie.

“One minute, darling.” Freddie said.

The water was pretty cold, and the other three saw Brian freezing in there, but they are laughing too much to care, and they shouted to Brian that he need to swim, not just stay still. Brian took a deep breath after immerse and swim in the pool. 

Again inside the house, with Brian dressed and shaking, they drank more shots. After some rounds, with Freddie making a sexual dance, Roger counting all the girls’ names he ever slept with (at least whom he remembered), and other things, that was time to Freddie ask again. “Truth or dare, Deaky?”

“Dare.” John didn’t breathed once.

“Kiss the cutest man in this room.”

Brian imagined that would be a awkward moment after Freddie saying this, but John even hadn’t time to think twice before he lean to Roger and kiss him. Freddie opened his mouth, surprised how fast John did the dare, laughing quietly, watching John putting his hands on Roger’s face, who gasped when he felt John’s lips on his, but soon he was joining the kiss as well, sucking John’s upper lip and putting his hand on the bassist’s waist, to get him closer. Freddie and Brian looked to each other, in shock.

“I guess our job is done here.” Freddie said in a low tone to Brian. “Let’s go outside. I’m sure this will go to someone’s room in a couple of minutes.”

“I don’t know how you make all that out, but you’re a genius.” Brian said, standing up again, Freddie too, and they walked outside the house.

Roger could feel a taste of honey on John’s lips, and this made him want more of those, and John was still breathing the alcohol they drank, but Roger’s tongue was touching his, with no shame, and he could feel the drummer’s body getting warmer, his own feeling the heat growing, their pants brushing sometimes. 

“Do you really...” Roger tried to talk, but John didn’t want to stop kissing him. The blond step away. “Do you really think I’m cute?”

“Do you have a mirror?” John raised an eyebrow.

“You stupid rat.”

“We’re doing something better a minute ago. Let’s go back to it.”

-

John felt the sun on his face. Not a good match with his headache, he got aware now he’s awake. It’s like someone’s playing a giant gongo inside him. His mouth was dry, and his body was hurt, and when he thought about his own body he realized that he was with someone’s arms around him.

The bassist used all his strength to open his eyes, and when he did he saw a blond hair next to his chest. Roger was peacefully sleeping, sometimes moving his head. John smiled, but moving his facial muscles hurt, and he mentally cursed Freddie for that stupid drinking. He looked to himself and found out he’s with the same clothes than yesterday, so maybe he and Roger didn't do much forward than kissing. It wasfor the best, tho. John wouldn’t like of not remembering his first time with Roger. _Ugh, cheesy again_. But he couldn’t stop himself when he felt Roger body close for his, the drummer’s breathing on his skin. He’s doomed.

And he saw Roger waking up, giving a loud groan and then regreting himself and passing his hand on his head. The oldest realized he was hugging someone and looked up, meeting John’s eyes. “Morning.” he wasn’t looking ashamed or guilty, but just tired. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t get up yet.” and John pointed with his head about his situation: Roger was still holding him, and one of his legs was above John’s body. The drummer smiled shameless.

“Sorry. But it’s not my fault if it’s too comfy this way.”

“Now I’m a pillow?”

“Kinda.”

They laughed, maybe extending the small talk to not talk about the fact that they actually slept together. Of course they remembered, they were drunk but not enough drunk to not remember. Maybe the alcohol helped they lose up a little bit, just enough to kiss, but not enough to erase the whole night. They remember the messy kisses and Roger passing his tongue on John’s ear, but then Roger fell sleep, Deaky didn’t take much longer after. Both believe that there’s not such a thing as blaming the alcohol for doing things. They wanted it to happen, and they still do.

“So...the elephant in the room.” started John.

“Yeah.”

“Good morning, love birds!” Freddie shout, out of nowhere (actually, out the stairs). He had on his hands a tray with food, juice and painkillers. “I thought you would need this.” and he put on the bed, with a naughty smile on his face.

“Please, stop yelling.” Roger closed his eyes with pain. “You tried to kill me with that drinking.”

“Shut up, you twat. I helped you.” Freddie winked, shamelessly. “Thank me and Brian after.” Freddie left the room before the drummer and the bassist ask him what Brian had to do with it.

“Uh...Let’s eat, then?” suggested John, with a grin.

They sat and ate in silence, more because they were starving than anything else. They glanced at each other during their breakfast, blushing. It’s a new situation for both of them, knowing that they kissed and they slept together, and maybe (just maybe) they actually liked each other. 

When Roger and John ate all the food and took the painkillers, they shared a look again. Someone need to take the first step, so Roger thought it should be him. “So you think I’m cute.” 

“I’m not blind, you know. It’s not like everyone is crazy, tho.” John shrugged.

“But that’s the only thing that comes to your mind when you think about me?” surprisily Roger’s voice was low and shy.

“I never would kiss you just because you’re cute, you dumbass.” John got closer to Roger, smiling.

Roger was feeling John leaning to kiss him, and even though he wants so bad that lips on his, Queen was important too. “John, we should talk.” and this makes John stops. “We have known each other for years, we are mates, and we have Queen. You’re not an ordinary bird I slept when I got pissed.”

John got anxious, because he didn’t know what Roger meant by that. Was he a fool for kissing the drummer last night? His headache was coming back. “So...Who am I?”

The way John asked it to him, so insecure and fragile, makes Roger put his hand over the bass player’s cheekbones, as he smiled. It doesn’t make sense to keep escaping. “You’re the most adorable person alive, who I want to date and do all the cheesy things, like woo you during dinners and bring you flowers, but I won’t mess up with us and the band if you’re not one hundred percent sure the feeling is mutual.”

John kissed Roger, a more delicate than yesterday. He delighted the taste of Roger’s lips on his, deeping the kiss when the blond parted his lips, and softly sucking his upper lip, like they had all the time of the world – and somehow they had. He felt Roger smiled during the kiss and wrapping his arms around his neck, and when John broke the kiss his blue eyes were shining. “I’m one hundred and one percent sure. Is this enough for you?”

Roger smiled and John felt his heart stopping with the vision. Doomed, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated :)


End file.
